Handy Things, Part 3

On our third morning of the Bishop trip I saw, through my groggy pre-morning-tea eyes, in the kitchen, a shaggy-ish climber, hunched over, anxiously mumbling something about "hoofing it." He popped up, briefly looked at me, then walked away saying, "Yep, time to start hoofing!"

"Hoofing?" I mumbled.

"Yeah dude!" he came back into the room holding a tub with a pump dispenser on top. It might have been a Costco-sized jar of mayo, or your grandma's perfume lotion. "Mane 'n Tale Hoofmaker," it said. "The Original," it said. He pumped a small dollop into his palm and began vigorously rubbing his hands together in every which way. Wow, I thought, this guy is serious. He pumped some more and kept rubbing. Then he explained how it adds an extra layer of skin if you do it enough times.

Instructions for "hoofing it," (if you look at the instructions on the back, scroll your eyes down to "Instructions for humans." Wow. Right? Ok, don't follow those):

1. Pump small dollop onto your hand and rub in every which way all over. 
2. Repeat x15. 
3. Yes, 15.
4. Do the, "rub off." That is, rub your palms together like you're doing a play-doh snake, until you get a bunch of baby hoofmaker/skin snakes and wipe off with a paper towel briefly.
5. Pump small dollop onto your hand and rub...
6. Repeat x15. 
7. Do the rub off.
8. Wash hands with a little soap briefly.
9. Towel dry.
10. Chalk up, climb. The first time might feel slippery.

I hoofed for a couple days, and honestly didn't notice too much of a difference. This guy swore by it.
Turns out he was climbing author and photog, Dan Brayack. Whoa. Then he sent High Plains Drifter that day. Double whoa.

He also had a hygrometer and was telling us the humidity. This guy was for reals. We all felt guilty for not having a hygrometer. Of course! This is the perfect excuse maker! "I was inches away, but the humidity was like, 68 percent. I took a photo of my hygrometer if you don't believe me."

I thought hoofing might be nice to do at night to facilitate healing, or maybe as an extra layer over antihydral. Then seal it off with some Benzoin Tincture! The possibilities were endless.

I ended the trip by hopping on Surf Safari with a friend (his project), which cut me up more than anything in Bishop. I left the wall bleeding and psyched.